WildTurkey

I hate March Madness...why? Because CBS has taken all its regularly scheduled programs off the air including my show, the number 1 drama, CSI. As a joke my aunt sent me this...(I guess you'd have to be a regular viewer of the show to get it but I'm posting it anyway)

Do you have SCIDS?

A medical analysis by CSIologist Lisa H.

Do you suddenly find yourself awakening in the night with a gnawing but nameless anxiety?

Have you developed excess atomach acid, facial tics and split ends?

Are you craving rare beef and organ meats?

Do you feel a bizarre resentment of tall athletic people?

Does the sight of a full moon, a pumpkin or David Caruso's head annoy you for reasons you can't explain?

Are you angry at Les Moonves and it has nothing to do with Dan Rather or Julie Chen?

Are you tearing out your own hair and then examining it for tags?

Do you stare longingly and with much affection - at maggots?

Does the end of winter fill with dread rather than joy?

If you answered yes to 2 or more questions, then you may be suffering from SCIDS, or Sudden CSI Intermittent Deprivation Syndrome, an epidemic that is known to peak in late March in North America. It is also known to occur in December and the summer months and is more common in females. SCIDS was first identified by the WHO (World Health Org - if you thought immediately of the rock group, you are in the early stages - seek help) in 2001. It is not considered fatal, although some victims feel that life is not worth living. Symptoms worsen on Thursdays. Some victims report a hatred of presidential news conferences, Christmas vacations and especially - college basketball.

There is no cure. SCIDS is not contagious; often, there is only one person afflicted within a household. Treatment is aimed at relieving symptoms. Suggested measures:

• Repeat viewing of classic CSI episodes.
• Self help peer support - on Elyses board.
• Adopt an attitude of gratitude - recall the misery of life pre-CSI, when the word "decomp" had no meaning for you.
• Rent movies featuring the CSI cast, old epsiodes of China Beach, ER or Different World.

• Clean out the crumb tray under your toaster oven.
• Go to WalMart and watch the new summer furniture arrrive.
• Alphabetize your spices, backwards.
• Go to your butcher and ask for a dead pig. Tell him you are having a luau. Place the pig in your garage and watch it decompose.
• Walk up to strangers in restaurants and ask, very politely, "May I have your straw?" Place in a baggie, label, smile and walk away mysteriously.
• Get a photo of Greg, circa 2001, and take it to your hairdresser. Say, "This is the look I want!"
• Get on your knees with tape and search your carpet for fibers. Collect them and bag them. Then go to every neighbor's house and ask to do the same thing in their homes.

This disease is self limiting. You WILL survive. It usually lasts a few weeks, so hang in there and know that other sufferers are here for you. We CAN defeat March Madness - AKA SCIDS!

I know I haven't updated lately, but I’ve been out of commission. I had my wisdom teeth removed over my spring break last week. That was not a very plesent expirence, and neither is having 30 stitches in my mouth! So yeah, they yanked all 4, and I'm still on a liquid diet, at least till they remove the stitches in another week, then I get to graduate to soft noodles. In the meantime I've been living off of those Campbell’s drinkable soups (they are gross, I don't recommend them), Jello, Pudding, and of course Milkshakes. I really didn't think it would be that big a deal, I thought they’d pull them and I'd be on my way. As it turns out I can't do any lifting, and I can't work out for another week...geez.

I had them pulled on Tuesday, so I didn't work Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or Friday, I went back for a few hours on Saturday. I had no school this week, so I laid on the sofa, watched all episodes of every season (1-5) of CSI, and wore my pjs all day, not bad! The one plus side of the whole experience was the Percocet. Man that’s even better then Vicoden! I've never sleep so well in my life; I was seeing purple elephants dancing around the room, that’s good stuff! Anyway that is what has been going on all week and the reason I haven't been online, why my cell has been off, and why I haven't updated. Now I have to get ready to go back to school and work tomorrow...I must rejoin the land of the living, although I'm not that thrilled about it!

On a darker note, I've realized I could fall off the face of the earth tomorrow, and not one person would even realize I'm gone, that just does wonders to my already shaky state of mind...

Your Values Profile

Loyalty: You value loyalty a fair amount. You're loyal to your friends... to a point. But if they cross you, you will reconsider your loyalties. Staying true to others is important to you, but you also stay true to yourself. Honesty: You value honesty a fair amount. You're honest when you can be, but you aren't a stickler for it. If a little white lie will make a situation more comfortable, you'll go for it. In the end, you mostly care about "situational integrity." Generosity: You value generosity highly. So much so that you often put your own needs last. There's nothing wrong with having a caring heart... But you may want to rethink your "open wallet" policy. Humility: You value humility highly. You have the self-confidence to be happy with who you are. And you don't need to seek praise to make yourself feel better. You're very modest, and you're keep the drama factor low. Tolerance: You value tolerance highly. Not only do you enjoy the company of those very different from you... You do all that you can to seek it out interesting and unique friends. You think there are many truths in life, and you're open to many of them.

Ok, so I've tweeked a few things on the blog, and updated the video section. It seems that everytime I put a link to a video on google, they delete that video, Oh well. So yeah...I haven't been up to much, been busy with work and school, school and work. I haven't seen any of my friends in 2 months, but on the bright side, only 2 more months till graduation!! This week I went to a wake for a family friend, he died in the line of duty as a state trooper. That was the most heart wrenching wake I've ever been to. They have 2 of his killers in custody, but are still looking for the 3rd. I hope the 2 they have get the death penalty!!! This week is exam week, so I've been drinking lots of coffee and reading till I'm cross-eyed. On top of the exams I also have 2 papers due this week, I'm still chipping away at those, fun fun. In fact the only reason I'm updating the blog is because I'm procrastinating, I'm suppose to be studying for my Research Methods midterm. I can't wait till next week, spring break, and my only break this semester. Ok back to studying...

(March 5, 2006) — GREECE — Like an ancient soldier on his shield, Andrew "A.J." Sperr was greeted as a fallen hero on his return home.

Close to 1,000 people visited the Bartolomeo & Perotto Funeral Home on Saturday to pay tribute to the State Police trooper who was killed in the line of duty Wednesday.

Horse-mounted police officers and sheriff's deputies formed two lines bracketing the parking lot entrance. Troopers in dress uniforms stood rigidly at the doors of the funeral home and on either side of the casket where Trooper Sperr lay in his gray uniform.

The receiving line included police officers from departments across the region and stretched to the front doors through all four rooms of the funeral home. Mourners filed past dozens of floral arrangements and artifacts from Trooper Sperr's life — a fishing pole, duck decoys and photos of him enjoying the company of family and friends.

"It's overwhelming," said his father, Andrew Sperr, who stood with his wife, Jean, to greet each visitor.

"I guess I should have expected it," he said. "But even when you expect it, it's still overwhelming."

"I can't begin to tell you how good the state trooper family has been to us," Jean Sperr said. "They've been with us from the very beginning."

Trooper Sperr, 33, was killed in a shootout with two suspected bank robbers after he stopped their truck in Big Flats, Chemung County. A native of Greece and a graduate of Aquinas Institute, he was a 10-year veteran of the State Police assigned to the Horseheads barracks near Elmira.

Funeral director Michael Perotto said he expects another 1,000 or more visitors today, which would make this the largest visitation in the 84-year history of the funeral home.

"He was a young man from a large family who was also part of a large law enforcement family," said Perotto. "This could be the largest funeral in Monroe County's history."

An estimated 2,000 police officers from across the country are expected to attend Monday's funeral Mass, Perotto said.

State Police Maj. Steven White, commander of Troop E, to which Trooper Sperr belonged, said police officers share a kinship that brings them to funerals of colleagues they never met.

"Every police officer knows that could be them," he said. "They want to be there to support the family and the survivors. It's like losing someone in your own family."

Robert Maldonado, a retired State Police captain who now is superintendent of the Monroe County Jail, said he performed Trooper Sperr's background investigation prior to his entry to the State Police.

"I remember they sent us about a dozen backgrounds, and I grabbed his because I knew it would be the easiest one," Maldonado said. "To the credit of his family, he had an outstanding background. He was one of these kids who always wanted to be a trooper and his actions exemplified that."

Trooper Sperr was the youngest of 11 siblings.

Trooper Vince Hill, who was Trooper Sperr's field training officer almost 10 years ago, described him as a "go-getter."

"Andy didn't just drive around," he said. "If something was going on, he was right there in the middle of it."

State Police believe Trooper Sperr didn't know the men he stopped in Big Flats were suspected bank robbers. The traffic stop escalated to a gunfight, and the trooper wounded the two suspects before he died. They and a third man have been arrested in connection with the killing and the bank robbery.

Trooper Mark O'Donnell said the incident reinforces a notion that every cop knows full well: There is no such thing as a routine traffic stop.

And O'Donnell said he suspects all the law enforcement officers who walked into the funeral parlor Saturday pictured themselves in the casket and their own families grieving.

"No cop wants to see another police officer in a casket in full dress," he said. "But you do it. You do it out of respect for the family and respect for Andy."