WildTurkey

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

So it's 3am and I'm wide-awake, which is weird since I haven't had any coffee today. I was having trouble staying awake during my 3-hour forensic lab at 2pm this afternoon, but now I can't fall asleep for the life of me, it's rather frustrating. I think part of it might have to do with school. I have a huge project I'm working on and every time I try to sleep a billion things start running through my head about what I could change, or a different angle I could take the topic. All my papers are done for the semester, which for me ends in 2 weeks, but my forensic professor is just getting around to giving us the information we need to know for our projects (which we were suppose to be working on all semester). I'm doing facial reconstruction, and the original plan was to actually do a clay, 3 dimensional reconstruction of a skull. Then he tells me there isn’t enough time to do that, the entire class is just going to do a huge poster session on their topic. Then I had a meeting with him and Terri (another girl in my class who is doing a similar topic) and he said we could both work on a clay model of a skull, I'm still confused as to what we are exactly doing... Oye!

On another note, I'm excited that today was my last day of classes till next week. I have no classes or work tomorrow, which means I get to catch up on the sleep that is eluding me right now. Friday is for me, the official start of the Christmas season. I plan on decorating my room and den for Christmas, Sarah and I can officially start our holiday traditions, and I can start shopping for gifts, although I cheated and did some online shopping today, but I got a great deal on a book my dad wanted from Amazon, I love it when things are on sale!

I'm feeling much better now, I had to go back to the doctor so that she could fix the dosage on my medication...she thinks she lowered it too much...ya think!?! Anywho I'm in the computer lab at school 'cause I just skipped out of class. The professor isn't there and the TA was showing some movie on terrorism from the 80's, there is no way I'm sticking around for that! I can't wait till this weekend, going out with Sarah her co-worker Brian and his band-mates, maybe I'll actually meet someone...nah, I wouldn't count on it. The only guys that seem even somewhat interested in me have been divorced and in their mid to late 30's. I hate to be picky, but I just want someone around my own age! Apparently that's too much to ask. I should head off to class, I still have forensics, and believe it or not, I acutally am going back to work this afternoon, when I don't have to. I figure I'd make up the hours I lost on Wednesday.

Ok, so 3 posts ago I said how excited I was to be taken off my anxiety medication. Well now I take that back. So here is the process, the doctor slowly decreases the medication, so that eventually I won't be on it. I started this Tuesday morning, I felt ok Tuesday night, but it hit me Wednesday morning. I didn't know what was going on so I called the doctor. She called back to give me the news and a warning she should have given me when I left the office last week. Now I don't need to be on the medication anymore, but the doctor said that being on it for almost 2 years my body has become dependant on it. Essentially I'm going through withdrawal symptoms, so the good news is I'll be medication free, the bad news is I'll be feeling crappy for...oh...about 2-3 weeks till it works its way completely out of my system...great!!! I'm nauseous, the room is spinning, I have the shakes and it feels like everything is moving in slow motion. I was ok until tonight, and thought "well I can deal with this, its not THAT bad"...at least until I became violently ill. I have a feeling I'll be spending the rest of the night on the bathroom floor, as well as possibly the next few nights...

I have finally picked out my last 4 classes of my college career; there is light at the end of the tunnel! I still have 2 required courses for my criminal justice major and they are criminology and research methods. I'm psyched about criminology only because professor Cretacci is teaching it and he is the nicest guy. I currently have him for criminal law and investigations, and he is the professor that is helping me find contacts in my career field. I still needed one more criminal justice elective so I choose forensic law, only cause that’s about the only criminal justice course left that I haven't taken and I get to choose a 4th class to qualify me as a full time student so I thought I'd take a computer course of some sort. Then I found out that there is a computational science course called forensic computing. It deals with fingerprint databases and reconstructing crime scenes using computer programs. Now I just have to decide if I'm going to walk on the day of graduation. My family thinks I should, but I really don't care, I'm not all that big on ceremonies, just as long as I get my diploma I'll be happy!

This has nothing to do with my last semester but Sarah is the best...she's the only friend of mine that will go to show world with me lol!! Ahh fun times! We then went to Spot coffee where we saw this guy that looked just like Zach Braff! I still think you should have made a move Sarah lol!

The Movie Of Your Life Is An Indie Flick

You do things your own way - and it's made for colorful times. Your life hasn't turned out how anyone expected, thank goodness! Your best movie matches: Clerks, Garden State, Napoleon Dynamite

I hate to sound like a broken record, but again I'm starting this post off by saying I'm drunk...so again I apologize if none of this stuff makes sense. I really want to go to sleep right now, but I can't, since every time I close my eyes the room starts to spin! So yeah... I forgot what this post was supposed to be about. But anyway I had a great time tonight...I went out with a bunch of friends to the Old Toad, an English Pub. There were lots of laughing and lots of interesting conversations! A couple people there we had graduated with, and hadn't talked to since, so we had a great time talking about old high school stories, and Adam was hilarious with his impressions of other people we went to school with...ah good times!! Needless to say there was lots of catching up. So yeah...I'm going to stop drinking for a while, cause I think I've been drinking way too much lately, and alcohol won't help me lose any weight, although it helps me forget about the weight issue for awhile. Tomorrow the first thing I'm going to do is get on the treadmill, since I haven't run for the last 2 days.

Yesterday was interesting, I met with my advisor and I only have 3 more classes to take and I'm done with college!! I also went to the doctor for my regular appointment, and she told me that she is going to take me off my medication for anxiety within the next couple of weeks, since I have greatly improved (panic attack free for the last 7 months!!) and that I have become more outgoing...so I'll just consider tonights drinking binge as a celebration of sorts....

I have decided I'm going to make a conscious effort to lose some serious weight. My goal is to get back to the weight I was when I entered college, around 100-105 lbs. I have already lost a few pounds but then I lose 5 lbs and gain it back, not this time! My friend sent me this cute little weight loss chart thing as a reminder and to track my weight loss. I tried to make it all festive :)




Now to the point of the title. I NEED TO MOVE OUT!!! Before I kill my mother. Now most people who really know me, know I'm not fond of my mother. We do not get along at ALL, and are frequently at each others throats. She can't (or won't) see what I want to do with my future. She doesn't support the fact that I want to be a forensic investigator, in her eyes I'll be a failure at whatever I do, because I won't go into the field of teaching, she tells me this at least once a week. She constantly calls me fat and points out that I need to lose weight (like she should talk!). I never hear a word of encouragement or praise from her. Then tonight at dinner she started bashing me at the table, saying she doesn't know where she went wrong in raising me, that I'm lazy and no good, so on so and so forth. I expect that of her, but what pisses me off is that she sits there and insults me to my face, and my dad doesn't do anything. I start defending myself and he just sits there, he doesn't back me up, or tell her to stop. I know he doesn't really want to get involved, but it just shocks me. This is why I loved being at Oswego, spending a year in the dorms there I didn't have to deal with my mother or answer to her. So that’s it, I can't wait till I graduate to move out, I need to now, before I commit murder. Starting tomorrow I'm looking for A.) A better job that offers more money/hours or B.) a second job. I need out!

So I'm going to warn you all, I just got home from the bars, and I'm drunk, so if this doesn't make sense I'll blame it on the sex on the beach and strawberry margarita I had! Anyway my day started out rather well. Spent the day with Sarah and had a typical 'girls' day. We went to Sam’s club to drop off my photos from the party and have them developed, went to Tops to get my coffee that Wegmans no longer carries, did some shoe shopping and clothes shopping in the same plaza, and stopped at Walmart to get hair dye to do our hair. Went back to get my photos and I ended up getting them free, cause they messed them up and the first 3 pics are destroyed, but other then that they all came out, and some are very funny! We went back to my house and I dyed Sarah's hair with henna, and she dyed mine.

I thought it had been awhile since I put blonde highlights in, and I have since chopped off most my hair I'll redo it. The blonde I got last time didn't really show up, so I went with a more blonde color. Yeah....ummm....It turned out BLONDE....I mean REALLY BLONDE!! I was mortified. Sarah thought it looked really good, as did her parents but I thought it was too much. We were going to a concert downtown to see her coworker play and I didn't have time to fix the hair situation. Luckily the bars were dark! So I stopped at Wegmans and I bought another box of hair dye, a darker blonde to cover the beach blonde and I'm crossing my fingers that it will work, otherwise I'm wearing a hat for the next 4 weeks lol. So its 1am, I'm drunk and dying my hair, a very interesting situation!!

You chose hazel eyes.
That means you are a very sweet, thoughtful person.
You are gulliable too, so it's hard for you to
sometimes say no to situations you don't like.
You're too worried that you might hurt
someone's feelings that a lot of the time you
don't think about what you want. You are also
very generous. You love to hang out with your
friends, and laugh at every little
"funny" thing.


The Eye color personality test
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm at work right now and I'm just getting around to taking my break at 8:30. It has been an insane day. Gerry the older page who works in the afternoons wasn't in today so all to books piled up. I made a dent in the work this morning but when I came back for the second half of my shift it looked like the carts had exploded. Anyway I've been in a funky mood since last night, everyone and everything seems to frustrate me. I decided after having an unpleasent conversation last night that I would run on the treadmill to blow off steam. Now I keep my cd player on my desk, next to my computer. It is gone, I can't find it anywhere. The last time I used it was a few days before the roadrunner was installed, and I had left it on the desk, I'm thinking my cd player took a walk. I tore the den apart looking as well as my room, to make sure I didn't move it. Everyone says the last place they saw it was on the desk. Then I find out that I'm failing my Immunology class miserably...The professor told me that it will be almost impossible to raise my grade to pass at this point. I have till Nov. 4th to withdraw without departmental permission...so I'm debating it...at this point I don't know what else I can do. All I can say is I hope tonight ends better then it did last night....